Look straight unto Him

Happy New Year! It's not too late to say that right? I know I haven't written in a really long time, 5 months to be almost exact. But I have been so busy. Well, I don't know if anyone reads this blog yet, but I will keep writing in faith as if there is an audience.
Quick update; I recently applied to a few universities and I can gratefully say that I have received four out of five offers! I'll be studying Accounting and Finance and I actually cannot wait you guys!! I'm honestly so grateful and I know God has great plans for me, in whichever one I eventually end up in. I just need His grace to get those grades!

Anyway, onto the main purpose of this post. I realised I haven't made a lot of posts based on my Christian life, this is just my second one!
At church this previous Sunday, the preacher spoke about how we all "look for the living among the dead." Her main chapter of focus was Luke:24. However I happened to turn my bible page over backwards and was skimming through the previous chapters, when I came across Luke:22 vs 61. It is the chapter which talks about when Jesus told Peter that he would deny him 3 times before the cock crowed. But the verse specifically touched me with the words. It says:

Luke 22:61 

The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. 

Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: 

“Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.”

- New King James Version (NKJV)

I have highlighted the words which I'm focusing on. It says Jesus looked "straight at Peter," and when I read it I just thought "wow...." To be honest my reaction kind of derailed from what the preacher was saying, but I just felt like, imagine the Lord, the mighty Son of God, looking straight at you. I'm interpreting this out of context. It's just the fact that from time to time, well actually, perpetually, we need to realise and remember that God sees us, as in really sees us individually, and understand just how special that is. And in our case, post bible-times, I believe God rarely physically speaks to us, except maybe in the cases of mighty men of God who are privileged with the honour of having wonderful revelations with the Lord. But God does speak to us, in different ways. It could be through the Word in the bible, through the pastor's message, or really He could send a normal human being to deliver a message to you that you need to hear. However, I know God also speaks to people closely during prayer, and this is one thing I would love to happen to me. If I'm being honest, I don't think I have been blessed with such an experience yet, but I pray it shall happen. 

Anyway, to round off, just imagine everything else in the world is gone away, and it is just you and Jesus. The way the bible phrases the (highlighted) line just gave me an image of a really intimate moment between Jesus and Peter. You can imagine the shame and guilt Peter must have felt as Jesus looked straight at him, and he realised he had let him down. Though guys, I have to admit the bible is amazingly complicated. Jesus knew this was going to happen, but it doesn't change the fact that he probably still felt betrayed by Peter.

I pray that neither me nor you will disown the Lord, but that we will persevere for righteousness sake, assured of such great rewards awaiting us in heaven. (Matthew 5 : 11&12) Keep the faith, be steadfast and hold on to the irrevocable Word of the Lord today and always. God bless. 

Life changes.

 Right, so in reference to my last post, scratch that. I'm becoming an Accountant. What can I say, I changed my mind. Again. Sigh...oh Reni.
 But in all seriousness, we all do at some point have to just go with life. It's unfortunate that the Marxist theory is in fact true, and we actually don't have freewill. In making any decision, you have to coincide with how that will affect your future socio-economic circumstances. I'm not really complaining though. Just pointing it out.
I can't think of anything else to say. Plus, it's really REALLY hot. Fan fan.

I'd gladly change places with these kids right now.

Epiphanies and Discoveries

  So today was a great day, to say the least. Generally school wasn't overly stressful, and the lessons didn't make me feel like I was in a complete state of oblivion, which is good! But let me get to the good part, my epiphany.

All my life (well, from the age of 7 or so) I've always been bent on becoming a lawyer. It's just something I wanted to do, and just knew I was going to do, and my life was pointed straight and focused in that direction. But somehow, there's always been this strange, intangible void I felt and knew was there but couldn't quite place. For example if I was asked why I wanted to become a lawyer, sure I could think of obvious reasons such as bringing about justice and all that, but I didn't quite realize (until today), just what it was that I was missing, and that is - passion.

Don't get me wrong, I was genuinely happy with the whole idea of becoming a lawyer, and I've been taking the necessary steps to get there, so I had the drive. But you see, there's a difference between the words 'drive' and 'passion.' Someone can have the drive and motivation to do something; however, they could lack the passion. You can tell when someone is passionate about something. I've seen it a lot, when I ask other people what they want to do in life, and they go on about their aspiration, and the things they want to achieve etc. I really see the interest and the ME factor in them, if that makes sense. It suits them just right.

Well, today I kind of had a turn-around. I was just sitting on the computer, talking to a friend and bam! It hit me. Book Editor. You could become a book editor. To cut a long story short and avoid boring you with my life history, I love books. As in, I LOVE books and everything bookish. Bookworm, bibliophile, nerd, call me any of those. Furthermore, I'm not exactly the loudest person on the block, and that is an understatement. I am very, very quiet...sometimes ;) I couldn't believe why on earth I hadn't ever really thought about that. It would be the most amazing thing. Doing what I love, as my job. You know that saying "Find a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life."

I want to love my job!

I'm not going to naively think that the job will be easy and always fun. Sure, it will be hardwork to get where I want to, but the passion, the love I have for it will keep me going! I think this is it, this is what I want to be. I'm still going to have to give it a lot of thought, and see where life leads me, but...I think it's this! I'm so happy right now..

And for the discovery bit, to add to my already joy filled day, I found a necklace that I had been searching every nook and cranny of my room for! It was a Christmas present from my brother, and is probably one of the prettiest necklaces I've ever had, so I am so glad I found it. Till next time (whenever that will be), and remember, worrying gets you no where. At the end of the day, what happens, has happened. And what will happen, WILL happen.

Life is so NOT a Fairytale

Something very embarrassing happened to me earlier today in school -

After being submerged as usual into the almost endless crowd of little kids, as I was walking with my folder in my hand, it suddenly decided not to be in my favour, and the heap load of sheets I had in there casually slipped out one by one, spilling all over the floor. The embarrassment I felt in that moment is almost too colossal to put into words.

For a minute I debated just standing there, doing nothing, just to avoid accepting what had just happened. Sure I'm making it sound like a big deal, but it had such a great impact. Obviously the crowd paused and I promise you it reflected those slow motion moments in movies. Luckily for me one of my teachers was with me and instructed everyone to "step back, step back." I greatly appreciate, but of course this just increased the attention directed towards me.

As I gathered up my pieces of paper which in that moment symbolized my last shreds of dignity, I began to consider the rest of my future in this school. Sigh, anyway my lovely teacher assisted me in picking them up, and as we carried on the last lengths of the journey, I said to her with one of those nervous terror-filled laughs "Well that was embarrassing!"

If there is one thing I would like to leave you with, it is that the movies lie to you! The archetypal high school girl who drops her books on the floor is serendipitously assisted by the hot (or not) teenage boy. But nooo...in my case, I was just...there. In the middle of the corridor, humiliated.

Be Fruitful, Multiply, Replenish and take Dominion!

I went to a church retreat conference last week - 'Hadassah' and it was amazing! The Lord is indeed faithful and true to those who love Him, and I claim my blessings IJN!
Remember:

1. Delay is not denial: God's time is always best, and He has His reasons for not giving us our requests immediately, it doesn't mean he has forgotten. Remember Abraham and Sarah in the Bible, how many years they had to wait for God's promise.
2. What you have is enough: Any little talent or gift God has given us can be used to great and mighty extents, we should appreciate the things we have. Remember the woman in the Bible who only had a jar of oil, and God replenished her greatly. Remember the boy with five loaves of bread and two fishes which Jesus multiplied to feed the five thousand. 
3. The main/only opinion that should matter to you is that of God’s: Don’t be influenced unnecessarily by other people’s opinions on your lifestyle etc as long as you know it is the Godly one. If everybody in the world loves you, you will die quickly, but if  everyone hates you, you should change your ways - Not everyone should love you, because if Jesus was hated and ridiculed so much on earth, despite the good things he did, then certainly expect dislike from some people in this world. “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” - Matthew 5:10 

4. Lastly, always endeavour to take notes during the service…as there’s a lot more I wanted to add but I’ve forgot cos i didn’t take notes, smh.

Introduction to Moi...kinda

Hello, so I’m actually gonna give this blogging thing a shot… In a way it’ll help with my motivation and procrastination issues, if I set myself a goal of how often to post, et cetera et cetera et cetera (subtle The King & I reference).

I am aware that as of now I am probably directing this to myself but I sure hope it won’t remain this way forever :) Right, my blogging ‘skills’ (or lack thereof) probably stink right now, but hey that can change, give me a chance…give peace a chance! Hmm off topic, get back to topic. Okay. 

My hope is to be as honest, and as ME as best I can on this blog of mine hopefully, so we’ll see how that goes. Welcome, dear reader, and without further adieu, my blog…